As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I have identified that feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day, as something I need or want. Today I got it.

I had my list and was able to check most things off.

I also found a great quote that helped reframe “accomplishment” for me. “There is no greater joy than a job well done. This trait is therefore not a seeking of approval, but rather an enjoyment of  sharing because of the spontaneous explosion of joy that comes from the deepest part of one’s being.” From Medicine Cards.

The darker side of this list checking off-ness is the other list. That one that I had promised myself? Write, photograph, do yoga, etc.? It has slipped off the pedestal to land among the ‘try to fit it ins.’ No bueno.

Even the writing. Even photography. The passions take a back seat.

As I was completing a complicated order today I noticed the sun was beginning to make its descent. My camera was at home and I likely wouldn’t be able to take pictures today, oh well. OH? WELL? No.

This is what happens to goals – at least for me. Once I’ve reached the end I check it off to move onto the next thing. The goal that has been accomplished is now free to be recycled for yet another do over. Try as I might to make that 21 day challenge about life long  healthy habits and NOT goals, it became just 5 more somethings I had to do daily.

What to do…

Do I re-up the challenge or really focus on continuing to add those things back in? Do I let go of some of the things I thought were beneficial? Do I create more order? Maybe they just get added to my to-do list.

I am going to give myself the rest of this week to mull that over. Because of my need for structure, perhaps setting very specific times of each day that I do those things I’ve identified as helpful, will work. Or is that just me trying to plan or procrastinate.

I am boring myself right now. Anyone else?

Maybe it’s more about balance than structure. A little forgiveness and amends. Spend the day with birds of prey, spend the next day working a little longer. BUT, also do those things I’ve promised myself for my own growth and enchantment.

And always listen to the Universe.

The bottom line is, what makes me magical? What keeps my creative spark aflame? The answers to those questions will point me in the right direction.

Mulling it over.

[Photo: fit it in.]