Every day I try to bargain with myself. Maybe Wednesday will be my day off. Maybe Saturday should be my day of rest. I’m moving more now than I have in a while, what’s one cookie? Or five?
But then, why do I want to take a day off from radiant health? That’s what sick days are for and I really don’t ever look forward to being sick. And why would I bargain for something that ultimately will be the gateway for more creative excuses?
I’m learning. I still cheat.
When I get involved in something on the computer, I am typically sucked in, eyes glued to the screen, fingers flying, looking away only to let go of the shapes of letters so I can form original thoughts (hopefully). I enjoy it.
And it’s a very convenient excuse. I need to do this, whatever it is that’s in front of me. And if it isn’t this, I’ll make something up equally weighted with good intention.
There is the good Allison, the higher self version of my carbon based form. Let’s call her Allisun (a friend actually types my name like that and I rather like it). Allisun understands that the planning I go through with a tremendous amount of resolve is actually an intention I set for myself. She also gets that Allisin (the ne’r do well ego operated side of me) is very convincing and sometime “Sun” is powerless against “Sin.” Or let’s say weakened.
While Allisun peeks around the laptop screen gently pushing it closer and closer to the keyboard, crowding my fingers out, Allisin pushes it back open so we can ‘get things done.’
Allisun takes me to the gym, maneuvers me around food courts and cupcake trucks. She turns the music up so I’ll dance while I clean and she encourages me to do all those healthy things I promised myself.
Allisin believes that the ego should reign supreme, she is after all its spokesmodel, and as such she needs to feel a sense of accomplishment, productivity. Not a bad thing, just misdirected at times.
They could so easily work together if they could just learn to communicate.
Today, Allisin tried to convince us that it would be a good day to take a break from this silly health nonsense and eat some chocolate for crying out loud. We should cruise social media and text friends. Maybe we should think about cleaning the house or just play with the dogs.
Meanwhile, Allisun had planned on finally trying Zumba. She did clean a nice portion of the home, succumbed to a few morsels of chocolate and actually got a little work done.
Then it started to rain. Pour. Allisin saw no reason to leave the house in a downpour. Allisun waited it out.
We all went to Zumba. Then we had mashed potatoes for dinner.
Everyone was happy.