Tag: process

21 Day Body Love Challenge

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Ganges IMG_1248

I love my body. Everything about it. When was the last time you said, thought or heard another WOMAN say that about themselves? To be fair, self-loathing isn’t exclusively a female sport, but we certainly hold all the ribbons.

In recent months I have seen many responses to the model thin body. There are documentaries coming out and seeking funding that celebrate the female form, whatever shape that form has taken. There are rebuttals to perfection in blogs, rants on Twitter and even infomercials on the beauty of “regular” women.

The director/producer of the documentary on women’s bodies, seeking funding, went out on the streets and queried over 100 women in all shapes and sizes and when asked how they would describe their bodies the most common response was, “disgusting.”

This makes me very sad.

My body is flawed, much of it my own doing or not doing. I have scars, stretch marks, cellulite, wrinkles and sagging in new places every day. I have hated various parts of my body but that didn’t make things any easier. I have loved parts of my body to firmness and thinness, but that was fleeting when my love of Christmas cookies trumped my affection for thin thighs.

In part I think my argument with my body is not the shape so much as the knowledge that I am not doing all I could to improve my shape. I eat chocolate, drink wine and don’t move nearly as much as I plan. But still I have to reconcile myself with this physical form that houses the me that thinks, talks and sees things uniquely. So much emphasis is placed on being different, why has none of that been applied to the female form?

Now I find myself in a place of the compassionate observer, mostly.  There is still much I’d like to change about this meat suit gifted to me, but maybe I’m not supposed to. Perhaps this body, just like this, is here to teach me and others something. What if this body is the vehicle that will take me to the super-consciousness highway and where along the way I can pick up a few hitchhikers?

If I am truly God in disguise, then perhaps it is my mission to love the wrapping, love the cover of the book so that it can be opened and what’s inside can be read.

You are God in disguise or Divine consciousness in disguise or the Universe made manifest, or a dog in human clothing. I don’t care how you choose to look at it, what words you use, what belief system you have, you must just know that you are perfect and a reflection of divinity.

For the next 21 days I am going to explore this gift that has allowed me to travel, make a baby, snuggle my kitties and puppies, do yoga, dance my ass off, swim competitively and stumble and get back up. I am going to call out the Divine cells, one at a time until we are all on the same page. I will work with one piece of the puzzle at a time starting with my foundation – my feet, and ending with my salvation – my heart.

Care to join me?

21 Day Challenge – Day 15 – Good and Bad

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berries IMG_1981

Is it possible, do you think, that if we are opening up to the magic and enchantment around us, our awareness of everything is heightened? Isn’t it possible that once the door is open, it is open to everything?

It is true that once the decision has been made to find enchantment, it is always easily found. But just as we’re looking for a lost set of keys and we come upon that IRS bill we forgot to mail, other things come into view.

So the question then is not necessarily about enchantment versus all that isn’t. It’s about perception.

Can you see it all? Can you experience the tiny butterfly landing lightly on a delicate branch with the same awareness as watching the vulture cleaning up a dead squirrel?

Buddhists believe there must be good and bad. You cannot know good without having first experienced bad. There must be a frame of reference. They are equally part of life and they are relational, which is to say, it depends on the perception of the individual.

It is about taking the good with the bad and being okay with either.

As a young child mud is every bit as magical as a kitten.  Enchantment is about returning to that child-like nature; experiencing everything with curiosity. In the natural world a butterfly is no better than a vulture, the acts they commit are received the same.

As humans we have the ability to discern with emotion, allowing us to ascribe human-like qualities to animals and inanimate objects and assign what is good or bad. This can lead us to perceive situations as good as someone else has the opposite experience.

So if we are opening up to all that is around us through the lens of magic we cannot discard something because it displeases us. We must look further, deeper into the maw of perceived darkness. There is always a light, there is always an upside. Sometimes it’s just being aware that our own awareness is expanding.

It is a process, this awakening to all that is. The rawness of newness. The work is in not abandoning the process. Don’t close your eyes to avoid seeing, simply turn your head and look somewhere else. Eventually you will turn your head all the way around, once more taking in the vulture and the squirrel. It is at that point you can appreciate it all. You can thank the giant majestic bird for doing what we as  civilized humas, disconnected from nature, cannot fathom doing. Accept it all, take your time with it. Wonder about it. It’s all magic.

[Photo: What’s your perception?]

21 Day Challenge – Day 7 – Priorities

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purple flower IMG_1686

Today I have been plowing through one thing to get to the next. I am deeply immersed in the practice of busyness. It’s actually work and I often do work on the weekends in exchange for long lunches and coffee with friends during the week. But it is so beautiful out it just makes me want to weep. I have the entire house opened and I’m enjoying the fragrances, breezes and continually singing of wind chimes.

It is my nature to “get stuff done.” And it doesn’t always serve me. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t born with this desire to check things off a list; I don’t recall a chalk board with little squares hanging in my bedroom as a child. Perhaps it is not so much my nature as a skill I developed to succeed.

It has served me well and continues to for the most part. But when I am mentally perusing my imaginary list while in Yoga Nidra, there’s a problem. I feel it in my body. I’m stuck on an inhale. When I’m done – which I think we’ve established will be never – I’ll exhale.

I lose the present moment. Even if I am engaged in something I don’t find stimulating, relaxing or otherwise enjoyable I want to be in it. Laundry, “the project,” cleaning my home, driving to the store. I’m suffering horribly today from Shiny Thing Syndrome. And it’s all in my head.

I read a Facebook post recently that said something like; Replace the thought, “I don’t have time,” with “It’s not a priority.” Reframes things a little. It feels perfectly okay to say, “Laundry isn’t a priority.” But it is considerably more difficult to tell a loved one, “Talking to you right now isn’t a priority.” That stings.

The lesson for me today is to slow down. Just be present. My inclination is create a process so that I can be present. Maybe stop every hour on the hour and take a deep breath, go outside and chill for five minutes. Or maybe I could have a cup o f tea at 10 AM and 3 PM to relax. Or schedule myself blocks of time. See? Shiny Thing Syndrome. There it goes taking me away. I’m ridiculous.

One practice I may add, which will increase my H.Q. (happiness quotient), is determining each morning what that One thing is I really want to do. I usually use this magical thing as a reward for getting the “stuff” done.  But there is always more stuff to do. And I deny myself the reward or it becomes just one more thing to get done.

Instead, I will make whatever it is I land on as my happy place my priority.  Maybe that means doing it first. Enjoying it with the freshness and newness of the day. Or it could be a welcome break in the day or a way to wind down in the evening.

The to do list is cellular at this point. As my cells regenerate over 7 years perhaps this need will slough off with the epithelials revealing new present living cells. But until that time I can use the priority tactic to plan my day. And as I begin to tell someone I don’t have time, or look at the number on my ringing phone and groan, I’ll check it against that priority yard stick as well.

Another little reminder: Wherever you are, be all there. Working on it.

[Photo: Trying to capture the pretty purple flower with the wind blowing was a test in patience and presence.],