Tag: enchanted life

I Touch My Stuff

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Still counting. Not even close to the end. Completed so far:

Master Bedroom: 1174

Master Bathroom: 228

Linen Closet: 225

Guest Bath: 102

Laundry Closet: 28

Back Patio: 367

Back Yard: 65

Hallway: 22

Grand Total: 2,492 things…so far

There’s something reassuring about handling every single thing in my home. I have begun to purge a few things as I’m going through them, and as much as I’d like to halve the number of items that belong to my husband, I am leaving that up to him. With a few pointed questions, sarcastic faces and “whatever you think” kinda tactics. It works for a while.

When I think about counting the next space my whole body droops a little, but once I start something happens. An appreciation and sense of gratitude for all that I do have softens everything.

The guest room is quite possibly my favorite room in the whole house. It’s light and clean and has a lot of my most beloved things. There’s a hutch with a recessed glass upper cabinet and lower cabinet with solid doors. Oak, I think. Not my favorite wood, but it’s dark and feels sturdy and strong. It was in my Great uncle’s home and when he passed I got my pick of anything. This piece just speaks to me.

Inside the glass cabinet are all those curios that have no real place anywhere else:

  • Dolls my grandmother made and some she brought back from exotic locations
  • A stuffed representation of our schnauzer growing up with his actual collar.
  • A mug from Italy that belonged to the twin brother of the uncle who left me his stuff.
  • A carved cigarette holder that belonged to my grandmother. I can see her holding it and laughing with her head thrown back, a highball in the other gloved hand, Auntie Mame.
  • A house that doubles as a music box my dad brought me from Bermuda.
  • Some random items we have picked up because they spoke to us, that we will likely pass along soon to make room for new treasures.

img_3948The bottom of this piece holds a trove of other items with no permanent home.  These will likely be purged down to a more manageable few.

The things that we are attached to, even for just short time, deserve a place in our lives, in our homes, if they bring us joy and help us recall a special time or person.

This was never about blindly tossing non-essential items. It is about being mindful of what I decide to keep. Mindful of who I pass things along to. And especially mindful of anything I choose to bring in.

I expected to find things that clung to my ankle as I walked out on them and they are showing up. Especially here in this room. They may just stay. At least some of them, at least for a while.

I didn’t count the hangers the hanging clothes were hanging on. In the interest of thoroughness the total is now up to: 2,661.

 

 

 

About 90% Committed

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I decided to do the Whole 30 “Abridged” version.

Which is to say, I’m cheating already.

In my defense, I have a nearly full carton of organic half and half just sitting in my fridge and since I no longer waste things, I have to use it. There may have also been a couple pieces of chocolate left too.

I’m also not completely prepared. I need to purchase a few provisions to make this as easy as possible.

What’s interesting to me, is that the Monday after Thanksgiving I quit it all: dairy, alcohol, grains of any kind, sugar. And it was easy. A switch had been thrown that would not allow me to stuff garbage into my pie hole.

That lasted nearly a month. Then someone found the switch and threw it in the other direction.

How does this happen?

I jumped off the junk train then because I felt disgusting and lethargic.

I no longer gauge if something is working by the scale but how I feel. What my energy level is. If I’m sleepy mid-day I know there’s way too much sludge in my veins and they need a nice clean-out with some juicing and/or water. NOT coffee or chocolate, as much as it pains me to write that out loud. And longer term, just better, cleaner eating habits.

I tripped back onto the sugar bus because I clearly wasn’t paying attention. I forgot that I was feeling great. Or, more likely, I succumbed to the ideal that a little won’t hurt.

But I’m back. And committed. 90%.

I have been reading the front of the Whole30 Cookbook and I’m becoming inspired. Enough to order the original Whole30 book with all the secrets for moral support. Thus far, it sounds suspiciously identical to the 21 Day Sugar Detox + 7 days. Either way, just reading about it will help me stay on task.

And either one of them will get me back to that energy sweet spot.

Next Monday 100%.

I’m gonna need all that sustained energy to finish counting all the things in my house.

 

Drawers of Rocks

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rocks

So much secret stuff.

I began on my back patio, seated on a glider at one end I simply looked around. On the whole there’s a lot of empty space to walk around the furniture, but there are silly things lurking inside some of the pieces that have drawers and other hiding places.

I counted all the furniture, potted plants, lighting (lamps that could be moved, not hard-wired fixtures), wind chimes, hanging tea light holders and gas grill. All pretty reasonable. I could probably do without the bar stools, hutch and small desk. I don’t need the grill, it was given to us and we’ve never used it, it should go to someone who will appreciate it.

As far as decorative items go, I have some cool pieces from Bali and other exotic places, but most were procured from a design firm/store I worked for and not from my own travels. Still, there are some keepers among them. For now.

Now for that hidden treasure…

Aside from all the furniture things can sit on, there are three pieces that contain mysterious items inside. Let’s take a look.

In and on the Teak hutch:

  • Balinese dragon cigar cutter – big wooden painted awesomeness
  • Old Indonesian pots
  • Old Indonesian house part – some carved wood thing that used to be on a house
  • Big ceramic cat
  • Wooden vase with curly willow and eucalyptus
  • Plant pots (terra cotta, metal, etc.)
  • Buddha head
  • Laughing Buddha statue
  • Kokeshi dolls
  • Tibetan temple bell
  • Small wooden elephant from India (my travels)
  • Indonesian tube thingy – carved and cool, but no idea what it really is
  • Small glass bowl
  • Incense holder
  • Ashtray – This is a terra cotta donkey “ass” tray. Cracks me up. Still one friend who smokes.
  • Candle holders – so many
  • Decorative rocks – seriously? Why? Two drawers full. Full. Small drawers, but still.
  • Small Buddha tea light holder
  • Candle snuffer – what century is this? Not one, but two.
  • Glass and silver plated coasters
  • Cork coasters
  • Essential oils
  • Eye dropper for oil
  • Ceramic lizard
  • Oil diffuser for light bulb
  • Small metal donkey – admittedly I have a thing for donkeys
  • Balancing kit for ceiling fans
  • Large iron plant hooks
  • Small iron plant hook
  • Loose tiles (for hot pots on the glass table. Maybe)
  • Random pieces of bamboo – for?
  • Chopsticks (pair), because?
  • Random drift wood
  • Heavy iron cauldron under the hutch. Pretty cool if you’re a witch.

In and on the Desk:

  • Bird puppet
  • Indonesian metal bird
  • Bag of tea lights
  • Citronella candle
  • Witches balls
  • Big ornaments
  • Wooden lizard from Jamaica
  • Lighter
  • Decorative turtle
  • Decorative frog – 2 just because
  • Cat toys – big with trapped balls
  • Unused seat cushions
  • Iron lizard candle holder
  • Bee catcher
  • Small rusted bird bowl
  • Soft pad thingys that get nailed into furniture feet – because we wouldn’t want to scratch the concrete

In the bench seat:

  • Hose nozzle – 2
  • Mosquito coil – 2. I don’t even know how these work, if they work.
  • Old metal paint bucket
  • Random candles – so many candles
  • Old rag – lovely
  • Old scrub brush – even nicer
  • Light bulbs
  • Rocks – what is with the rocks!
  • Remote doorbell
  • Bamboo stick
  • Old sock (rag, I hope)
  • Battery operated push light
  • Macrame Tibetan bell door hangers
  • Plastic grocery bags – so many. We don’t even use these anymore.
  • Paper bags
  • Part of a gutter guard screen – ripped and mean

In all the 675 square feet that is my back patio oasis, holds 366 items. Not for long.

I have to say, if someone came along and stole everything on my patio, I would be okay. There are no sentimental items or precious pieces. I love my patio and spend a lot of time on it, so I would miss somewhere to sit, and obviously some of the items, but I’m not at all attached. Good start. It’s not all gonna be so easy.

I know there will be some sticky places and some things will take forever to count – I have been making jewelry for over 15 years and playing with art and photography forever – but I’m committed.

Mostly I am curious to see what I learn about myself and what I’m ready to let go of. And really, how I will feel with less stuff. I’m imagining lighter, but I’ve learned the heartbreak of anticipation and expectation too many times, so I’m open to whatever the experience is here to teach me.

Here’s to a year of purging, playing and practicing mindfulness.

Oh, I forgot the curtains – make that 382.

 

 

 

Where to Begin…

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Okay. So I’ve made this decision: The Year of Living Mindfully or Consciously. Or The Year of Counting All My Stuff. Or The Year of the Purge. Now where do I start? How?

As I meander from room to room in my not at all large home I become overwhelmed with all that I know is hidden. Desks, chests, cabinets, closets, even vintage suitcases are home to “things”. And some stuff is flat out mocking me by boldly sitting out for all to see. I have to start somewhere.

This is where most people get stuck. Where I am in danger of procrastination.

The whole mess put all together, especially if I start thinking about the black hole that is the garage, pushes me backward onto the couch in analysis paralysis. I look around for clues. Stare blankly at a plant. Gaze outside hoping for a distraction. I can clearly see the organization necessary, the putting back of things. I see that this needs to go here and that needs to go there, but the thought of pulling stuff out of their secret little hidey-holes and exposing them to daylight makes me sleepy.

I could start the old-fashioned way: pick a drawer or small closet to tackle first. Use a timer so I don’t overwhelm myself. This would be the advice of the Fly Lady and countless other organization gurus.

I could take the advice of Marie Kondo in the book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, and compartmentalize my stuff. Start with clothes first, then papers, books, etc. Her strategy is to pull all the pieces of one category together, touch each one, hold it up and ask yourself if you love it, or something along those lines. I did this with my clothes, books, papers, then shifted to spaces like the kitchen. Mostly it worked but I got a little stuck when it came to art supplies, artwork, and memorabilia.

Or I could use the Minimalists tactic of boxing up everything I own. Everything. And as I need something take it out of the box. After a month or two, whatever I didn’t pull from the boxes gets donated or otherwise released.

Or I could simply keep researching the best way and avoid the actual work.

I need to think and start small, the garage IS NOT the place to begin, or even look, until I get this project underway.

I will start with my master bedroom. It’s a simple space. Clean. I’ll begin with the contents of my bedside table drawer. I never open it except to retrieve my Nook charger. But there are other treasures in there.

Or, no. As I contemplate this I am sitting on my back patio. The weather is perfect, there’s a breeze and my bird friends have come to sip from the makeshift bird bath on top of the table. The table, birds and bird bath are all outside the screened enclosure, but the patio itself, inside the screen, is home to 675 square feet of hiding places. THIS is where I’ll begin. Stay tuned…

21 Day Challenge – Day 21 – To Begin Again

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Coffee

After twenty-one days on this body odyssey I can honestly say I have learned a thing or two about me.  There have been some successes and a few unfulfilled promises to myself. But overall the information gathered has been well worth it. As usual.

While I wanted and expected these three weeks to be about better body practices, I was surprised that I didn’t take so quickly to changing my food. I did juice and blend. I did eat a ton of salads. But I also still had my coffee with its sugar and half and half. I cut back on wine, mostly because I wanted to and I went back to gluten-free. Cheese still lurks in the dark corners of my refrigerator.

I guess I was trying to make changes that I knew I could live with. I can certainly live without coffee, but I enjoy it. The ritual of it, the aroma, and of course the nice little lift. I make no apologies.

As I mentioned in a previous post from this challenge, if I were to do it all over, I might separate the working out/movement from the food. In fact, I may do another challenge shortly exclusively about food.

What I did accomplish this time that has me happily surprised is how much I have fallen in love with working out. I still drag myself to the gym, but once I’m there I get so into it. Expecially, as you know by now, Rowan, my beloved Concept 2 Rowing Machine. There are times when I have to make myself leave the gym. That’s just so odd to me.

Overall I believe I have accomplished what I set out to do and that is to make a stronger connection with my physical form. The combination of yoga and the gym is the perfect balance for me. Yoga keeps me curious about the nuances of my body while allowing my mind to completely let go. Working out helps me feel strong and completely energizes me. Yin and Yang. Equal parts of the whole.

I hope to continue both. I am off on a road trip for 7-ish days. My husband and I are meandering up to Pennsylvania and back. I know myself well enough not to plan on getting to the gym or even a yoga class, but we’re going through some mountains and hiking in cool weather sounds divine. I did pack our yoga mats and some work out clothes. Just. In. Case.

I will keep my body  moving and continue with the few practices I picked up where food is concerned. But mostly I will be present and that’s the very best medicine for health.

And the quickest route to enchantment.

21 Day Challenge – Day 20 – Back Off, He’s Mine

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Rowers at Sunset

I think I may be suffering from attachment.

While at the gym this glorious morning I commenced my typical routine: 5 minute warm up on the treadmill, weights, rowing, sometimes a little more cardio after the rowing, but always those first three.

Today started out like any other day. Treadmillls were pretty full, but there were a few slots open. Someone was on one of the weight machines on my list so I moved on to another one. Then back to the first and finished my weights. Coffee and water sent me to the restroom.  Then I was all set to row.

But, what’s this? There are two women on the rowing machines. I know I haven’t talked about him much because it was his brother I grew fond of first, but Rowan has an identical twin, Rowland. But I can tell the difference.

Both Rowan and Rowland were being courted before my very eyes. The women who occupied each seat were chatting with a woman standing between them. It was not anything important, I could tell. She should leave at once and allow her friends to work out and move on.

I walked slowly past the occupants, staring them down with what I hoped was a non-threatening but confident look that said, “If you’re not going to take this seriously, I’d like you to get up, so I can. And have a nice day.” I didn’t exist to them.

The interrupter left and they both began to row. Next to my two favorite men is a line of about 259 treadmills. The first two closest to them were taken so I chose the third. I was watching, ready to strike. Normally when I do those first 5 minutes I walk at a decent clip, 3.6-4, now I was sauntering, maybe stalking at 2.5. Measured, alert.

Five minutes in they stop.  I stop and hop off. They’re chatting to each other, one has her phone out. I approach. The one on Rowan starts again, while Rowland’s suitor continues to browse YouTube. Short of sitting next to them on the carpet and staring them down, I’m at a loss.

Behind them are the Precor elliptical machines. I take the closest one. Again I walk slowly. But, oh, this machine is interesting, a slight variation of the other ellipticals. It moves my feet a little differently more like stair climbing meets elliptical. I kind of like it. Temporarily distracted like a baby with keys I realize I’m not here to enjoy this. I must stay focused.

She’s not moving, her feet are dismounted, she’s just surfing the web. I make my move.

“Are you done?” I say in the sweetest way.

“Oh, yes, I’m so sorry.” That’s right. She moves away and meets up with another friend while Rowan is still occupied by the more serious of the two.

But I am home now.  Sculling down the river feeling the wind on my face, my eyes tearing in the cool morning air, watching the soft pink morning grow brighter with each moment. All is well in my world.

And I might have a little attachment issue.

21 Day Challenge – Day 19 – Drama Queen

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Close-up of young female friends gossiping in the living room at

I am surrounded by drama, but I don’t usually engage, thereby making it non-existent. She said.

I have a theory about drama. In our culture it seems to be a necessary component to balance, but it is a huge pendulum swing. Small moments of contentment are interrupted by volcanic erruptions of yelling and crying or gossiping and well, drama.

When things become too smooth, we feel the need to stir the pot. Anyone’s pot will do. If we can’t find an appropriate pot to stir, we call the one person who will stir ours creating an amalgam of physical and mental reactions, somehow convincing us, this is what it feels like to be alive.

My brother lives in California – the birthplace of drama – and he gets involved in someone’s drama all the time without even realizing it. It seems if you live in a place with a perfect climate you have to create your own weather patterns.

Here in Florida we have plenty of dramatic weather. Awesome billowy, threatening clouds, torrential five minute downpours, hurricanes, fog and once every 10 years or so a freeze. Nature provides our drama. We have venomous snakes, near deadly spiders, sharks, bears and alligators. If you want drama, go for a walk.

But we can put on a good show here too.

Since studying yoga my need for drama has decreased immensely. Every now and then someone will push a button and I’ll react, but I’ve been shown that it is my button and that person is pretty blameless, so I chill and take a look at what it is that I bring to the table that caused me to react. Truthfully , this self-reflection doesn’t always happen and certainly not in that instant, but it shows up more often than not making me pretty laid-back.

This study has also allowed me to clearly see where people are coming from. Lost, unheard, scared, etc. which makes interacting with them easier.

But like any bad habit, we usually need to commute those tendencies elsewhere. It needs to be replaced, preferably with a good habit. My drama habit just changed clothes.

Most of my life the drama that has been playing out in my head has to do with my body. Berating it for not looking like Cindy Crawfords. Shaming it for gaining weight when I shove an extra cupcake in my mouth. Whining about it when it doesn’t want to get up off the couch. This is all happening internally.

It’s my personal soap opera. And I watch it with half-interest while slunk down on the coach eating potato chips.

If everything is energy, then these thoughts and beliefs are energy too. I’ve taken the external drama and shone a light on the internal drama, so now I can replace it. Hopefully for something good.

Working out helps. Dancing helps. It’s very dramatic to try to lift weights that are just a skosh too heavy and grunt and groan then drop them so they make that loud clank. It’s dramatic to do so many squats that you don’t know if you’ll be able to drive a stick shift. It’s dramatic to pull a muscle, then tell everyone you did it at the gym – it was that 37th squat, you’ll tell them. Eveyone’s impressed.  Gestalt complete.

Until I can think of a way to abandon the need for some sort of drama in my life, this feels like the healthiest  option.  Or I could just make a couple phone calls to the family.

21 Day Challenge – Day 18 – W(h)iney

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Opening a wine bottle with a corkscrew in a restaurant

I like a glass of wine every now and then. Maybe two.

This is no crime.

Last night was such a night. Although I have to admit I didn’t really feel like having wine. My mind had to work really hard to convince my body to get up and open a bottle, which it did. Interesting. I had less than two full glasses, felt fine and was in bed asleep by 11 pm.

No harm.

I awoke around the usual time, somewhere between 6-7, got up, tripped over dogs on my way to the kitchen and commenced the usual routine. Made coffee, did some blog surfing, liked a few posts on Facebook, then though about breakfast before the gym.

I left around 9:30. Rowan was calling. It was raining pretty steadily but I wanted to row, so I left.

After a brief warm up I sauntered around the twisted steel and padded playground looking for the back and bicep machines my trainer had recommended. Each one was being used. I wasted a little time going to the bathroom, fixed my hair, straightened my shirt and checked out the weight machine situation once again. Still occupied.

I glanced over at Rowan. He was alone. I took it as a sign from the universe that I was to spend my time with Rowan today.

The first 500 meters were brutal. Not taxing as in sprinting a mile, but uncomfortable, achy. I was still somewhat sore from the preceding days but it wasn’t that, there was something else stuck.

Then it dawned on me. Could it be the wine? Just those two glasses? Probably. Any food or drink affects the functioning of the body. Good and bad.

I pushed harder, I wanted to rid my system of whatever was lingering.

I went on to row 5000 meters as repentance and also because I can’t seem to stop. A friend came and sat on the machine next to me to chat and still I didn’t stop. It might be a problem. But it feels like a really good problem to have.

The moral of the story? I have a choice now. I have always had a choice. I suppose what I mean to say is now I have a reason to consider my choices more thoughtfully. I have more fortification behind not having a glass of wine. But should I choose to imbibe, I know what to expect.

21 Day Challenge – Day 17 – Poster Child

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BS006

I have a great friend I share a cup of coffee with every other week or so. We chat about yoga, life, travel, everything.

This week we talked about the gym, because for some reason I am obsessed.  I have belonged to gyms since high school, why I’m just falling in love now I don’t know.

Anyhoo. We both agreed that we feel great when we work out, that cardio lifts our spirits and energizes us. So naturally after a period of euphoria we just stop going.  We both had gym stories to share; silliness on some of the machines, punching ourselves in the face by using the weights incorrectly, not being able to walk properly after a prolonged period on the elliptical. It was great fun.

This friend has had gastric bypass surgery, is working the plan and doing great, but still has a considerable amount of weight to lose. I could drop a few sizes and some poundage. So, when over our first pumpkin spiced lattes of the season one of us commented on being the perfect poster children for the gym, we could hardly contain ourselves. We laughed and laughed, until finally we sighed our last laugh out, looking off into the middle distance, smiles fading back to reality.

Are we destined to relive this conversation? Are we stuck in a loop?

This idea of habits has me intrigued. In yoga we call them samskaras, grooves that are created by doing something over and over again. Some good, some not so helpful. The deeper the groove, the more difficult it is to crawl out and make change.

Quantum physics backs this up. Thoughts that are wired together fire together. With the repetition of a thought or behavior we create neuro-pathways that encourage that same behavior over and over.

Over many years, way more than I care to admit – just makes me tired thinking about it – I have been stuck in this loop. Even with all the education I’ve had on the very topics of nutrition and health.

I am committed to my good health, but somewhere a tiny voice is saying, “Yeah, but eventually you’re gonna be right back here again in the not too distant future.” How do I shut it up? Or better yet, how do I prove it wrong?

The gym seems like a good place to start.

And maybe not too many more pumpkin spiced lattes.

21 Day Challenge – Day 16 – Keeping Secrets

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woman telling secrets, pop art retro style illustration

There’s a secret that even if you shared it no one would believe you. And even if they believed you, it wouldn’t be enough to make them do it.

The secret? Exercise improves mental health. A lot.

At least for me. But I’m pretty sure this is a seriously documented truth.

I suppose the type and level of activity have a lot to do with the overall impact. I know for myself I have a nice soft energy and calmness after doing yoga. A similar feeling after a nice walk outside. But when I vigorously work out, like with my new love, Rowan (the rowing machine) I feel truly alive. Clear. Present.

Yesterday I took a wrong turn and tripped down the internet rabbit hole first thing in the morning. It cost me an opportunity to work out. But I justified it, so it was okay. I went to work, taught a class then came home to await the dishwasher repairman.

I found myself in an energetic wasteland. Instead of catching up on work and getting out in front of things – which is a huge complaint and constant wish – I decided to read instead. I munched on whatever I could find, not hungry for food, but hungry for something. So I ate everything.

After the dishwasher guy came and went, I took a nap.

By dinner time I was exhausted and apathetic.

Today, by stark contrast, I jumped on my computer first thing but just to check two things, then I was off. I took the dogs to get groomed then went to the gym.

The 5 minute warm up on the treadmill felt good. With weights I worked legs and shoulders today. I struggled through some of it, but kept going. I missed just one machine because there was someone on it and someone waiting. I made my way to my new friend, Rowan. I thought I might try to push myself a little farther today. The first two days of rowing I did 2,000 meters at a fairly decent clip. Today I did 3,000 at the same pace.

When I stood up I didn’t think my legs would support me. They were weak. I was spent. I walked a little bit, hopped back on the treadmill with a nice steep incline to try to remind my legs of their role in my life then chatted with my buddy the Thai Chi ex-pro football player. When I left my strength was restored and I felt amazing. I worked all day, produced some good stuff, and at 9 PM still feel vibrant and clear.

Hmmm. Secret’s out.