Tag: photography

Rising Again

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I just completed an intensive training the trainer training (got that?) for Yoga Nidra. It was amazing, intense, awesome, beautiful, grueling, revealing and a tremendous gift. Out of this training an unspoken challenge was issued: “Do yoga nidra everyday; it will change your life, you already know this.” And so I am prepared to accept this challenge because it has in fact changed my life. The effects are undeniable. I’m relaxed and I come from a space of peace rather than reaction perched white knuckled on my edge. I am able to be highly productive without stress. It’s magic. And I’ve let it go.

Let’s recap. Back in October I issued myself a 21 day challenge to live a more enchanted life and I identified 5 activities needed to clear the way for this to happen: yoga, yoga nidra, writing, photographing all once daily and the gym a couple times a week. I nailed the challenge then let it all go the next day. Yep. Moment of truth. I could speculate on all the reasons why, but the fact is I just stopped. As much as I wanted it to be a lifestyle change and not a “goal,” it turned into the latter. I achieved it. Done. Slowly one by one I’ve added them all back in. First the writing, then the yoga, etc. And that feels good.

In addition to Yoga Nidra, I have been asked to assist in another yoga teacher training and another 21 consecutive days of yoga has been requested of me.

Then there is a little memoir contest I have decided to enter so it seems writing daily would be a good idea.

On top of all this, I will be heading to India in, ready for this, 21 days and the Swami guiding the tour has asked all of us to commit to a daily yoga and meditation practice so we are prepared for the same once we’re on the other side of the globe.

Here’s the thing; when I did this challenge the first time I basically let go of EVERYTHING else. I went to work, I taught, I did what was asked of me, but 99% of my focus and energy was on the challenge. I was on a little vacation from my life and it was awesome! When I completed the challenge I had to play catch up, putting me in the same situation I was in before: not enough time for all of it. Or, more honestly, maybe a misguided assessment of my priorities.

So this time, and yes I will be doing this again, it feels different. I will add these things in, on top of the work that I currently do, rather than replacing it. I will create priorities out of some aspects of the challenge and allow space for others. I know it’s possible.

Here’s the challenge: yoga nidra  and writing daily. Yoga and Gym as often as I can. Which is to say I will do some sort of physical exercise daily, I’m just not going to be militant as to what. As I write this I don’t feel the same sense of urgency or excitement I did before, and I think maybe that’s good. Instead, there’s a quiet determination and a sense of calm confidence. I’ve got this.

A few days after the last challenge when it was clear to me that I had slipped into the to-do list abyss, I was feeling a sense of failure and berating myself for undoing it all. But I didn’t undo anything. I simply stopped doing all of it at once and brought each component back in as I felt the need. All the work I had done was valid. It helped. It was time well spent.

My life is still enchanted, magic happens everyday. I didn’t need to do all those things daily to create an environment for enchantment to arise. I did need to do the challenge to reveal to me that I already had an enchanted life. I only had to recognize it.

I also believe anytime I am moving a little farther down the continuum of  self care and self love; honoring the vehicle I have been gifted, it is always a win.

So I will rise to the challenge again with curiosity and an appreciation of the experiences. I’ll post daily as before for those who want to follow along or create their own challenges. Please share your challenges and ideas with me, and we can grow together.

[Photo: Salt Springs, Florida. Deep in the Ocala National Park where pine trees sing like running water.]

21 Day Challenge – Day 8 – Recommitment

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It’s been one week since I issued and embarked on my 21 Day Challenge. One week down, 2 to go. A few noteworthy things are happening.

This isn’t a challenge with a prize at the end. It’s not measurable in a quantifiable way. There are tasks to be completed each day that help keep me on track and that’s imperative. With a high level distraction and procrastination risk factor, I need touch points, things I can check off.

The purpose of this challenge though is to remove obstacles by adding in good practices: yoga, yoga nidra, writing, photography, etc. One is removing distraction while the other is moving in the direction I have identified as my path. Both are necessary.

Without an end game, is it really a challenge? I am working on breaking old unhelpful habit patterns and creating a new way of being. So yes, it’s super challenging. Maybe especially because there is no real quantifiable goal. My hope is these tasks, that right now are the challenge, become woven into the fabric of each day, like brushing my teeth and making the bed.

In one of Stephen Covey’s books, he says, “Begin with the end in mind,” referring to the endgame. You want $1,000. That’s your goal. That’s the end. Now work backwards and create your strategy to achieve that goal.

If I have no real goal in mind other than changing habits, how do I work backwards from that? So I have created one identifiable goal to work with that is in alignment with my intention and aided by the tasks I have set forth in my challenge. This will add a richness and satisfaction in the doing aspect of each task.

The second thing that I’ve come to realize is some of the tasks I’ve assigned myself are becoming ‘the thing to get checked off.’ I think this is a natural resistance from the ego. “Ok, we’ve played around with the ‘new lifestyle thing’ long enough, let’s get back to the way things were.” It makes a very convincing argument. Staying stuck is so easy. And if I look at it as if I am just allowing, then it feels very yogic. Forgivable.

But that’s a familiar trap. This time though I see the trigger before getting caught in the net. Instead of letting go of the challenge or forgiving myself for missing something I need to lean into it. Be completely 100% present in each task I undertake. The challenge then becomes the challenge. Sticking with it.

There is a time when action is called for, of course. In the Amrit style of yoga there are two halves of each posture; first and second half. The first half is doing the posture, making it happen; the second half is coming out of the posture, standing still with the eyes closed and feeling – letting it happen. Both are valuable, especially together.

Life is like that. Action must come first. Make it happen. Get things in motion, and then let it move forward in whatever direction and form it takes.

A few months ago I got the itch to travel again and I selected Ireland as the next big trip I want to take. That is an action. The decision. I looked online at tours, airfare, and different towns in Ireland that might interest me. I begin to get excited. I am in action, on my way.

Then I get an email from a Swami I have worked with before. She has put together a Sacred India tour that starts February 16. I love India. All the places on the tour are towns I have never been to. It looks amazing. I’m going to India in February.

Maybe I’ll still go to Ireland later next year, maybe I won’t. I took the action which allowed me to get into the mind space to travel, which was the ultimate goal, and an opportunity arose. I made the decision to travel. I allowed India become a possibility.

My challenge has not changed – the tasks have not – but a quantifiable goal has emerged that along with my intention can keep me focused on the work in the present moment. Everything I do right now affects the next moment and the next and the next. Every thought I think, every action I take is creating my future. I must choose wisely.

[Photo: Playing around inside today. While the Buddha is beautiful in his natural color, playing around with him in photoshop made him more reflective of my mood today: Vibrant!]

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 6 – Falter

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Today I made the conscious decision to abandon the 21 day challenge. Just for today. Let me explain.

I have had this big project hanging over my head like a cartoon anvil. It will take many hours to complete, and mental and creative resources I would much rather devote to my true love – anything other than this. There is so much I want to do creatively; write, make, draw, paste, but I feel powerless to be all in with this thing hovering.

Hence the day off. I’ll be right back on it tomorrow, fresh and new. Or so I thought.

I learned two very important things today:

1. There is no such thing as a finite amount of creative energy. I am under the impression that I have about 5 hours in the morning in which to write, design jewelry, draw, create greeting cards, do yoga and yoga nidra, take a photo walk, and go to the gym. Turns out it’s not true.

While I wake up fresh and an open channel for creativity I can achieve that same level of openness by doing yoga nidra or stepping outside to watch a squirrel play for a few minutes any time of the day. I learned today that I could do the creative project I was resisting as well as manage to be creative in other ways. After 10 AM.

2. There is room and time if it is important enough. I did the challenge anyway. And rather than take me out of the zone, it was a welcome reset. I fit it in. It has become important enough to me to make time for it. And it proved itself valuable.

I have been watching my mind where this project is concerned. There is so much resistance. Every time I think about all I have to do, the inner mental brat has a little tantrum, whining, kicking things and becoming gravity itself. I expend precious energy resisting this project which is really just delaying my bigness – my real work. It’s a fear of what’s on the other side of the completion of the project. Another one? More resistance?

It will not be the same thing, of course, resistance is a changeling. I will think it is something completely different, and on the surface it will be, but its end game is the same. It’s a stall tactic.

So it’s not the project that has to go away. It’s the resistance. And that’s another story all together.

Resistance is the hurdle, it is “X.” When I get done with X, then I’ll….  When I lose X, then I’ll…. When I have X I’ll… What if I suck at algebra and I never solve for X? I should have paid more attention in high school.

Do I even need to solve for X? I don’t think so. X is not real. X is the illusion, it looks real, feels real, but it can’t be. It always goes away. The real magic trick?  I am the magician. I create the illusion, I know how it’s done, and I still fall for it.

Time to pull back the curtain of doubt, remove the mirrors reflecting my own fear back to me  and blow away the smoke hiding the true self.

Time let go of the shenanigans and get on with it.

[Photo: With the French doors and windows wide open I can hear all the critters scurrying around the back yard. I was actually called out by the coo of dove, but as I opened the screen door the dove flew away and I caught this little feller.]

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 4 – The Wiley Ego

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white birds IMG_1496

Challenge Day 4. Today I thought I was going to let myself down. My plan was to be up at 5 as usual, do some Yoga Nidra to ease into the day, write, go to an 8 am yoga class, followed by 30 minutes at the gym (did this Tuesday and it felt great), lunch with a friend, a couple of hours in the afternoon wherein I would fit work, photography, writing and ANOTHER Yoga Nidra. Then dinner, writing and hanging out in the family room of the Enchanted Living Facebook Group Page. To bed with positive vibes and a smile in my heart.

Here’s what actually happened.

The muse roused me at 3 AM. On the dot. Really? Come on. She begins dropping words into my brain and they form these delicious sentences. The words get louder and louder and impossible to ignore. They take on an importance that I fear I will lose if I fall back to sleep. So I slog to the living room crack my laptop open just enough to slide my fingers into position, because opening it all the way would sear my retinas at this ridiculous hour, and hammer out a few sentences. Satisfied I have appeased the muse I press the screen back onto the keyboard and sit back. Now what?

My body was ready to go back to bed. Lobotomized of thoughts my mind now roamed the dimly lit halls unable to conjure a direction. I asked it to sleep, it refused. So at 4 AM I did Yoga Nidra. I was able drift away to a nice sweet space and let go a little. The soothing voice on my ipod relaxed the synapses in my brain enough to allow me to wander back to bed where I eventually found sleep. And sleep I did, until 8!  The day was half over!

The mind being what it is – a naughty, unruly child – already had me reclining on the back porch drinking wine, eating Ruffles and reading a trashy novel by noon. I failed to meet my schedule.

But with all this “inner work” that tiny little ember of the Self has grown stronger. So while my mind carried on with its slithery speak of, “why change? You’re good. Take a day off from that nonsense, you deserve it,” my Super Self was quietly reorganizing my day.

Write now. Work now. Go to lunch. Work a little more. Do some Yoga Nidra. Take the 5 pm yoga class. Search all day long for light and shadow, movement and stillness and have the camera ready. Go to the gym tomorrow after the 9:30 yoga class. You’ve got this. Don’t let the mind on the corner entice you with free samples of artificial freedom, you know the difference. Thank the sandman for much needed rest, put on your big girl panties and start your day.

And that’s pretty much how it went.

The morning shifted a little when I got a call that “those white birds” were back at the nearby pond. Yesterday they were flying back and forth and I was hoping to capture one in flight. No luck. I wanted to try again today. Instead of driving the mile or so up the road, I took to the sidewalk. The weather was perfect. I’d get my walk in and take a few pictures. This way I could kill two birds with one stone or if you prefer, shoot 20 birds with one Canon.

When I arrived at the pond I only saw a few birds. I was a little disappointed at first, but as I edged my way around the perimeter, popping acorns announcing each step I took, I noticed a little movement out of the corner of my eye. When I looked up I found a tree filled with angels. Then another tree. They had moved up. As I watched, some of them took off and flew away. I was still unsuccessful in capturing them clearly in flight. But tomorrow is another day and maybe I’ll get another call.

I got it all in pretty easily once I sat that dramatic ego in time out and let the Super Self work it out. I retire this evening with hopes of a good night’s sleep and look forward to whatever magic awaits tomorrow.

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 3 – Morning Thoughts

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fog park IMG_1219

Because intention is the key to living an Enchanted Life, I want to explore this idea a little further. Based on some of the comments I received on my last blog, I’m afraid I may have thrown a few people off track, or at the very least, been unclear.

My intention is not to lose weight. It would be a welcome side effect of this work – but that’s it. Dieting is a distraction, it is a way to divert attention from the real work. I’m gonna roll the dice here and bet that it is no one’s true purpose to diet. I used weight as an example because it is relatable, nearly everyone has had a goal to lose weight. But that is not what this intention is about.

My intention is to Live a Creative Life. It is actually a little stronger and deeper than that, but I’ll expand on that later. So let’s just go with Living a Creative Life.

All the things I am asking myself to do on a daily basis are the tools and tasks to keep me on track to live that intention. In the present.

1. Gym. I use the treadmill and engage in physical activity because I am a pitta (Ayurvedic body constitution – more on that another time) and my body loves activity. I am energized by moving aerobically.

2. Yoga. I cannot deny the benefits of a daily yoga practice. It allows my body to feel lighter and longer. I can move and release any frozen prana (energy – more on that later too) that may be showing up as energetic blockages.

3. Yoga Nidra. Meditation on steroids, Yoga Nidra calms and clears the mind. It allows the space between the perceived negative thought or incident and my equal and opposite negative reaction to grow. Eventually the incident or thought holds no charge so I am nonreactive. This takes me out of reaction and duality and into a state of nonreactive peace. This, too is an energy conserver.

Using these three tools creates the conditions that allow me to be a lightning rod for inspiration. I am an open channel for Presence to flow through me AND I have the physical energy and stamina to act on that inspiration.

4. No alcohol. Clarity. I love a nice glass of pinot noir, but I’m on a quest to become clear and I have noticed that wine is the gateway to sloth for me. It encourages me to eat junk late at night, stay up too late and sleep in. It’ll be back, but for now it’s one more distraction I can let go of.

5 and 6. Writing and photography. These are my passions and how I express myself creatively most often. There is skill involved, so the more I practice, the better I get. In addition to improving, I begin to develop and refine my own style.

This is my intention, This is my method to stay present and live that intention. Your intention will likely be different so your toolbox will be a different color and size than mine. It’s yours to fill. We can work on it together.

My intention is my yard stick. I measure big decisions and daily choices against it. Clearing physical and mental space to allow energy to flow through me supports this intention. Sleeping in, reading romance novels all day and watching TV all night takes me away from this intention.

The work is to remove the distractions by creating an environment in which they just don’t fit. The gift is clarity and synchronicity. The gift is living my intention.

 

21 Day Challenge

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I am issuing a 21 day challenge. To myself. I have always resisted the word challenge, pretending to be non-competitive. But I feel it’s suitable here. What I am challenging are deeply held habit patterns that I want to change or eradicate all together. This is not a challenge to lose weight or achieve a specific goal, this is a challenge to live my most enchanted, magical life.

I have been a planner as far back as I can remember. To be honest, more of a dreamer. My plans sit on the pages of my journals full of hope and promise, lost as I turn the page to dream anew. These plans are not grandiose. On the contrary, they resemble mundane to-do lists instead. But the underlying theme is always, do this to get that. Once I get, do, have, etc. THEN…  It’s a common malady. But I plan to end it now.

It takes 21 days to make a habit – I intend to make several.

You should know that I am using you. I have assigned your presence, real or imaginary, to be the gatekeeper of my conscience. It is you that will keep me on track.

The impetus for this change? I am a charlatan. I am not walking my talk.  I am a yoga teacher that rarely does yoga. A holistic health counselor whose favorite late night snack is pinot noir and Ruffles. A jewelry designer that rarely wears any of her own creations and an interior designer who has lived with peach Formica counter tops for the past 13 years. The only thing I’m doing with any consistency lately is writing and taking pictures. But how long can that last, really, given my history?

So the challenge is this: daily yoga and yoga nidra twice each day. Write for at least 2 hours and take fresh photographs daily . No alcohol and the gym twice a week. For three weeks.

I am publishing this declaration as a way to motivate myself. Even if I suspect one person is reading this and thinking,” I wonder how she’ll do?” or secretly wishing failure upon me (maybe even more motivating),  I’ll rise to the occasion. For some reason I, like many people I suspect, will meet and often exceed other’s expectations, but seldom rise to meet any goals or terms I set for myself. I forgive myself way too often, making excuses that sound like reasons. Mind trickery.

I am not going to weigh or measure myself or drastically change my diet. My baseline diet is very good. I suspect focus these goals will lead to more dedication to overall health and well-being which will organically spill into other areas of my life, like dark chocolate.

It’s not about weight, although it would be a nice side effect, it is about fire. That crackling radiance at everyone’s core. Those who focus only weight or wrinkles or aging or anything superficial for that matter, have not yet met their own light. Those who have, recognize these outward appearances as temporary, they tell a story – excess weight, gray pallor – but they are not the person who dwells beneath the extra pounds. With a little encouragement, if your light is strong enough, it can help reignite another’s flame. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Sharing the light, uplifting? That’s the gift and the responsibility. It’s nothing more than showing up as yourself. Authentic and comfortable in seat of your own soul.  I have felt the heat of my own flame. Now I’m calling it back. For me it is the height of creativity and synchronicity. It is joy for no reason. And it’s where I intend to live.

The physical component is a necessary balance. I know that if I do yoga and yoga nidra on a daily basis, I come from a different place. My mind is clear, I am calm and inspiration crackles all around me. If I add the gym component it accelerates the whole process. It’s about opening the windows and letting the fresh air in. Airing out old belief systems, dismantling self-defeating habit patterns and recognizing the magic in everything.

I promise to post every day. Even if I fail to meet the daily challenge. But I suspect you’ll keep me in line. Perhaps there’s something you could do for 21 days that will enhance your fire.