Tag: enchanted life

21 Day Challenge – Day 15 – True Love

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A heart shape candle surrounded by red rose petals covered in wa

It happened by accident. Really. We were introduced to each other by a mutual friend.

We had nothing in common it seemed, but we really loved spending time together. There was just that connection, you know?

I promised myself it would only be that one time.

But when I got home I couldn’t stop thinking about that time. I would smile surreptitiously lest someone become curious about my newfound zest for life. It was hard to resist telling everyone, but I’m married. Happily.

Then the next day, well, it happened again. We just fit. Maybe it’s the way I’m held. I don’t know how else to explain it. I feel strong and powerful when we’re together. Like I can do anything I put my mind to. My imagination reels at the possibilities.

But today I am alone. And a little sad. It’s all I can do to resist going back. I’ll go tomorrow. We’ll be together again. It’s just too much, too hard. My energy is sluggish, I’m starting to doubt myself. Yes, I must go back.

Not even my husband can stop me.

His birth name is Concept 2 Rowing Machine, but I call him Rowan. He is both challenging and fun. We love to play together. We lose all track of time (fortunately there’s an attachment for that). And each time I go back I fall in love a little more.

With Rowan of course, but also with myself.

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 14 – The Cheese Stands Alone

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Goat cheese with fresh thyme

If I were to start this challenge over again I might do it a little differently. I might devote the whole three weeks to just movement, then spend another three weeks on food.

There’s so much to explore in both and to throw down the gauntlet on all of it can be overwhelming.

But I’m in the middle – past the middle – so I shall persevere.

Formulas don’t work the way they used to. Eat this, not that, lose weight. Add in a healthy dose of  exercise and watch the clothes start to fall off. Sleep better, wake up energized.

I have been at this for two weeks now and while I have gained a ton of energy I have not lost one pound. And I am frustrated.

This tells me two things, or maybe three:

  1. I care more about losing weight than maybe I want to admit, and
  2. It’s probably the food, oh and
  3. I’m older. Which changes everything.

Way back in the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) days I had experimented with my food like a mad scientist. I identified a few foods that I needed to eliminate all together: dairy and wheat rising to the top of the list. I’ve done pretty good with the wheat for the past 8 years or so, but occasionally a cupcake sneaks in.

Dairy. It was so easy to give up. I rarely used milk, yogurt and sour cream showed up only occasionally and I wasn’t a huge cheese person. Then a few years ago someone accidentally put feta cheese on my salad. Then, at an Ayurveda training there was goat’s milk yogurt for breakfast. I fell in love with chai tea in India and couldn’t possibly use anything but whole milk in it when I came home. Which was just the gateway to half and half. Then I stumbled upon just three little words that would seal my dairy fate: goat’s milk cheese.

So dairy has inched its way back in and helped put some weight back on.

Before my formal education at IIN I had stumbled across the Blood Type Diet. There are many doubters, but here’s the thing: it’s just food, what would it hurt to just play with it?

I did and it worked. Absolutely, positively worked. It worked for me. It worked for others. When I was health coaching I always recommended it and if it was followed, it helped people lose weight, reduce inflammation, and minimize or eliminate allergies.

So naturally, after great success, I let it go.

Is it laziness? Ego? Somewhere in between I suspect. Habit plays a pretty significant role as well.

As much as I believed I was using the blood type diet and Ayurveda as lifestyle changes, somewhere in the back of my mind I thought of them as diets. Short term solutions. While I was in it, I was completely convinced that I had left all those habits behind, but habits, especially the unhelpful ones, have a way of bullying their way back in.

As I revisit the blood type diet I will do so with a sense of curiosity. I’ll take a new approach, challenge myself somehow. It is in my best interest.

Maybe that’s the problem.

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 13 – By the Numbers

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The word Stamina on a fuel gauge measuring your drive, power, en

In the past when I set out to change my life through food and exercise I equated my success numerically. Mostly subtraction. How much weight did I lose? How many sizes did I go down? How many inches melted away?

The focus is different this time. I am hopeful for all the math above but my main objective, my ultimate focus is to gain this time. And I have. A lot.

I have more energy. I have more time. I have a better connection to my body. All these in less than two weeks.

I realize the focus of this journey may be more a result of my age, but I believe it has a lot to do with the cumulative effects of the awesomeness that I have been studying for the past 10 years.

My odyssey began, in reality in fourth grade when I believed my thighs to be hideously huge because my best friend had bird legs. I always chose skinny best friends. Later in life a few of them would confess they would have preferred curves like me at that age. Humans are ridiculous.

I digress.

Because of the thighs, I became a lifelong serial dieter. Weight Watchers, Dexatrim, Potato diet – that was my own invention, didn’t work as I’d planned – South Beach, Pritikin, no carbs, no fat, vegetarian, vegan. I am truly a diet expert.

Fed up with failed attempts to become super model thin, I enrolled in the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to make food my friend. It changed my life.

Then little by little I forgot it all. Or ignored it all. Now I’m bringing it all back. This time for the same reasons with hopefully similar results. And maybe for a little longer.

The numbers, I suppose are necessary for the ego, goal-oriented part of my brain. Since I am working with a trainer, so those numbers are all sealed in the “before” vault, along with all the pictures taken of me form the past 6 years.

I want to say this time feels different, but I suspect if my journals were unearthed, those words would appear before every big life altering decision I made.

But I’m still gonna say it. This time feels different.

21 Day Challenge – Day 12 – My Dosha Made Me Do It

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Chopped Chocolate Bar On Wooden Background Closeup. Broken Dark

I promised at the beginning of this mini-odyssey that I would address the ancient science of Ayurveda. Ayurveda tells us we should consume no more than 3 meals a day. No snacks. The body needs time to digest each meal before consuming the next. We should only eat when we are hungry. This keeps the digestive fires, known as agni, stoked so the digestive tract works according to plan.

It is a science as old as yoga itself and equally complex. There is so much to know that I couldn’t tell you even all I know, which is a fraction, in an entire book.

I can tell you there are three body constitutions known as doshas. You are born with your dosha and it never changes. You likely have all three body constitutions resident within you to varying degrees and at times they become out of balance. Ayurveda is the science of bringing everything into balance. Over and over again.

Here’s the quick and dirty on the doshas:

Vata: (pronounced Vah-Tah) is associated with Winter. Vata types are typically very small or very tall with a small frame. They are usually thin, but may not be if they’re out of balance. Their personalities are airy and light and they sometimes need help getting grounded. Out of balance they can be very scattered and even forget to eat. (I have no Vata in me.)

Pitta: (pronounced Pit-Ah) is associated with Summer. Pitta is your Type A personality. Their frame is average, height average and weight usually average. They make strong athletes and can become obsessed with exercise or competition. They are get-it-done people sometimes to their detriment. When balanced they are focused and in charge. (Here’s where you’ll find me most of the time.)

Kapha: (pronounced Kah-Fah) is associated with Spring. Everybody loves a Kapha. They are grounded and calm. Kapha body type is usually bigger, not necessarily overweight, but it is easy for them to gain weight. Athletically, they are your long distance runners or swimmers. They have great endurance when they are balanced. Out of balance they can be lazy, overweight and even depressed. (And meet the side of me that convinces the pitta part of me to relax, sit on the couch and have a piece of chocolate.)

I am a Pitta/Kapha. They are nearly equal, pitta edging kapha out by a hair. Herein we find all my challenges. Pitta plans and is focused. We’re gonna get stuff done. Kapha saunters in and says, “What’s your hurry? Let’s look out the window and ponder all this activity for a moment.”

They fight it out. Kapha’s pretty convincing. But Pitta has been going to the gym so she’s gaining strength and able to resist the enticements of Kapha.

If this science interests you, I highly recommend you investigate it for yourself. There are many books on the topic. Deepak Chopra is one of the most familiar. He often uses the Sanskrit words for things so it can be a little daunting.

If you can get past that, or if you’re comfortable with another language, go for it. If you think it might be frustrating for you, my favorite Ayurveda author is Dr. John Douillard. He worked with Deepak for many years. His approach is completely western and easily understood. The 3 Season Diet is the book I like.

It is a vast, vast topic. If you can locate an Ayurveda practitioner in your area, they can tell you your dosha and help you find balance and decipher this healing art whose name literally translates to Science of Life.

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 11 – Shift Happens

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bigstock-Women-doing-childs-pose-in-yog-37535017

Something is shifting. It’s so subtle it would be easy to overlook.

Every challenge issued and completed under the Enchanted Living umbrella is about eliminating the space junk flying around in my (our) head so that I can enjoy every moment. It has always, ever and only been about becoming keenly present. Aware. Moment to moment.

This is where enchantment happens. It is about letting go of the to-do list and just being right here, right now. It’s a lofty goal. And for most of us not achievable every second of every day. But cultivating more moments of presence is always doable.

It’s starting to happen more and more for me.

I was recently feeling overwhelmed with a plate full of obligations. I dove deeper into my time at the gym, being there fully instead of whining my way through it. I went to my mat with curiosity for each and every posture. Then ‘magically’ the two that were causing the most angst corrected themselves seamlessly. I still have a lot to do but it’s just sort of happening, unfolding just as it should. Priorities are revealing themselves. Stuff is getting done and I’m not stressed about it.

I have more strength. In less than two weeks I can feel the difference. My lung capacity has improved, my balance and my confidence in all things physical is up. Back on that yoga mat I’ve become curious about my ability to go deeper, confidently experimenting with my own capabilities. And it’s fun.

This awareness has taken some interesting turns. I am more organized. My house is cleaner. I am purging stuff (again, I love to purge). And I have time. Time to listen to clients, time to have deep, meaningful conversations with friends, time to be.

It is all happening very slowly. If it wasn’t part of my intention of this challenge I might miss it completely.

But it’s the work.  My body loves to move. Now that it is, my mind can let go of all the chatter. My mind was never the problem as I suspected. It’s master plan all along, I suspect, was to continue to push me until I found the solutions that worked for my ultimate benefit.

In yoga, we’re always taught to get the mind out of the way, let go of the ego, but a favorite swami put it something like this: It is good to go beyond the mind, but we must use the mind to go beyond the mind. The mind is a tool.

As I continue to work through these challenges I am sharpening the best tool in my tool box.

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 10 – Speaking of Grandma

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Old Round Eyeglasses.

There is a little old man that comes to the gym. He’s probably about 128. He shuffles in with his “training book” in hand, heading to the first machine that has a seat. He’s wearing polished black dress shoes and black socks that are reaching for his knees. His short sleeve button down shirt is pressed and reveals a white undershirt beneath it. His shorts match his shirt in color.

His still bright eyes probe the room for his trainer beneath Harry Potter style glasses. He rests. All the hair on his head, and there is a surprising amount for his advanced age, is combed forward as if the wind is always at his back.

He gives up on his trainer, places his book on the ground beside the machine. I’m concerned about the picking it back up part. He sets his weights, tucks his polished shoes beneath the padded roller and begins to extend his legs. He’s a pro.

As I wipe the sweat from my eyes I notice a diminutive woman about 80 something on the elliptical machine beside me. Maybe she’s his daughter. Her head is jutted forward a little in line with her hunched shoulders.  She tightly grasps the set of handles that don’t move. She plods away. I believe she was in place before I chose to sweat beside her.

I leave her there after 10 minutes to attend to personal matters that have everything to do with consuming two cups of coffee before I got here and 2 bottles of water since.

When I come back out I hop on the treadmill. 5 minutes later she is beside me again. She sets herself up with her towel and something that may be an mp3 player. She starts to walk.

An older man walks in the door, sees her and waves with a giant smile. She returns both.

Am I in Cocoon?

It is late morning and people with jobs have come and gone or will be here later. This time is held for those of a certain age that have no use for retirement homes. They are active, a little slow, but determined. This is not the first time I have seen these two here. And there are many others.

Right now, at this time of day a solid 70% of the gym is geriatric. 25% is filled with people closer to my age that take this working out thing very seriously. Big guns, tight abs, glorious glutes. They probably got here when it opened and just don’t see any reason to leave.

The other 5% of which I am part is comprised of women like me who likely work at something but have the flexibility to slip away and get in a class or a swim.

It’s growing on me, this gym life. Once I got out of my own way and actually asked for help, a whole world of possibility opened up for me.

There’s a life lesson in there somewhere.

21 Day Challenge – Day 9 – Not Your Grandma’s Calorie

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Diverse Hands Holding The Word Calories

Remember when calories mattered? When they were all the rage? Then it was sugar and everything became sugar free. Then we eliminated fat, but had to add sugar so the cardboard was palatable. Soon after carbs became the enemy. The truth is we need all of that, okay, maybe less sugar, but we need good fats, and vegetables and fruits ARE carbs. And after all calories still matter. They’re just not very glamorous.

The science hasn’t changed, these diet shenanigans were mostly marketing tools used to keep us from getting bored with the same old stuff. Pulling our dollars in this way and that. And it made us fat and unhealthy. It confused our metabolism and messed with our heads.

Let’s take a trip back to simpler times and revisit the calorie.

Before you yawn and turn to something shinier, would it interest you to know that in other countries calories are called energy units?

We are going to combine two boring things you thought you would never use again and make it fun. Calories and math.

Back in the day we would look at a chart that had our age and weight and say, okay, I should be consuming 2,000 calories a day. Good start, but it’s a little more complex than that.

Food is fuel to be used as energy. We expend energy during the day, and even when we sleep.

Ergo: Energy Units Consumed (food/calories) minus Energy Expended (breathing/moving) = Energy Burned or Energy Stored.  If you take in more energy than you expend in a day what is left over becomes either stored energy or excess weight in the body.

If you use more fuel than energy units taken in you will either be depleted or lose weight.

But what I really love is this connection to food. By calling them calories we make them something unrelatable to our workaday lives. Knowing we need energy to perform tasks and well, live, we now can also see that food is the fuel that gives us said energy.

It simplifies everything. Obviously some energy units are more packed with nutrients than others. But the math still stands.

So as I start playing with my food this week I will look at my food as an energy source, not just something to satisfy my physical or emotional appetite. If I can recognize that my appetite is driven by emotions, I must also realize that eating to pacify those emotions will actually fuel them instead, leading me to eat more of the ‘bad’ stuff.

Or, I can just figure out how much energy I need to burn to make those sweet little chocolates disappear.

 

 

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 8 – Sweet Stuff

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Pouring sugar over a strawberry on a spoon

Sugar and I are madly in love and can’t be apart for more than a few hours. He’s with me during my morning coffee. He’s there for me if I’m feeling a little low. When I reach for an iced tea he’s there. We love to spend long, lazy summer afternoons together with a bowl of fresh strawberries or peaches. And at night, oh night time is the sweetest. We’ll sit for hours snuggled on the sofa and watch a movie or read a good book.

Sometimes he likes to hide from me, but I can always tell he’s been there by the flutter in my chest followed by sleepy bliss.

I wouldn’t dream of breaking up with him. Not completely.  I’ve done it before, we’ve taken a break or cooled it a little but never have we parted for long. Life loses all flavor without my little cupcake.

I know it’s not right. It’s one of those toxic relationships people just don’t want to talk about. So I think it’s time to limit our interaction with each other. He doesn’t have to linger as long in the mornings or come by at all during the day. Maybe he can stop by for a little dessert in the evenings. Little. Once in a while.

Besides, spending time away from my honey will make what time we do spend together all the sweeter.

He’s okay with it too. I tend to deplete him.

I would let him go altogether, I would, but he just comes back. And he comes on strong, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, bringing me chocolate and wine.

No, this is best, albeit bittersweet. Limited visitation. We’ll see how it goes from there.

Ah, but parting is such sweet sorrow.

21 Day Challenge – Day 7 – Skulduggery Afoot

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Diary Book

One week in and here’s what I’ve learned:

  1. I am still really good at tricking myself into and out of what is good for me. Like professional grade status.
  2. I’m getting smarter and quicker at catching the skullduggery and doing the right thing more often than not.
  3. I have not lost one ounce but I have gained a ton of energy. Before committing to the “work-out” I was fuzzy, forgetful, tired, whiney, angry and frustrated. Now I’m just occasionally and strategically forgetful.
  4. I don’t like being pushed. And apparently I “bargain” with my trainer. Whatever.
  5. And, I actually like raising my heart rate and sweating.

While all of this seems like good news – and it is – what I am lacking is routine or ritual. I need structure. I fight structure. Do you see the problem? I exhaust myself.

A year or so ago I went through some of my old journals, and there are millions. I was expecting to find witty remarks, deep thoughts and profound insights. You know, the stuff that would comprise the movie they make about me in 100 years after they unearth these tomes of brilliance. What I found between profundities were pages and pages, years and years of planning my day. Get up at 5, 6, 5:45, work out, eat breakfast and on and on.

How depressing. Not so much that I was planning, but that I never really worked the plan.

In almost every case, everything I wanted to accomplish during the day had to be finished by 11 AM, my high point of creativity and energy during the day, so I was progressively getting up earlier and earlier. What did I expect to do with myself after 11? Have lunch with friends, skulk around independent bookstores, chat up shop owners and do gooders, come home cook a gourmet meal and share my day with my husband?

Sounds pretty amazing, actually, perhaps I should revisit those journals.

But I digress.

So now what? Plan again? Start over? Wing it? It’s the act of planning that feels solid to me. I have always been this way. I am the idea person, I’m going to lay it all out and then YOU go implement it.

There appears to be a learning opportunity for me. Can I be the implementer? I know I will fight it. For the past 8 years I have had my own businesses and my time is my own. Schedules just happen organically.

I think if I have a short list of things I plan to accomplish during the day – whenever – I will get them done.

No. That feels like a cop-out. I feel like there is a huge opportunity for me to break through this resistance to what is good for me.

I need the structure. I need to create non-negotiables. I just do these things because they are what I do. I brush my teeth every day, shower, make my bed. Why not pranayama, meditation and an hour of movement? Why not indeed.

There. Now onto the schedule.

You should know that in my head I’m already coming up with reasons why this won’t work.

 

21 Day Challenge – Day 5 – Gym Zombie

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Zombies IMG_6407

Today I had no appointments or classes around which to build my schedule. Sounds divine in that laissez-faire kinda way. But for me, I need an anchor, I need structure and I am not so great at setting it for myself.

I have had an incredible amount of work lately – all good – but overwhelming at times, so today was to be a get-it-done kind of day.

I slept in – which is to say 7 AM. I drank my two (ish – don’t judge) cups of coffee, had some toast and sat down to craft my plan. But first, let’s see what’s happening on Facebook. Wonder what some of my favorite bloggers are ranting about today. The dog wants out. The cat catches then releases a sparkly fish on an elastic line. Facebook pings. Let’s check email. Then the other email. Has that new Indian restaurant opened yet? Oh look, how cute is her new puppy? Is that a text? Where’s my phone?

And so it goes.

I did manage after about 30 minutes wrapped up in STS (Shiny Thing Syndrome) to focus. I think the coffee helped. Seriously. It’s medicinal.

I plunged into my work – my computer work I like to think of it. Responding to emails, texts and messages. Creating flyers for upcoming events. Writing copy for my own blogs, imaginary books and for real people who pay me. Organizing teacher trainings. Creating email blasts and Facebook posts. Editing photos. Stuff like that.

It draws me in sometimes and I can’t extract myself. Just one more tweak here, one more edit there. On my magical list in the sky today was the gym. Maybe a class. I received a more comprehensive list from my trainer, but I still don’t know what machines are what or how to use them. It’s frustrating. Still I thought maybe a class. Zumba?

I remembered it being in the afternoon, around 4, but I checked the schedule just to be sure. There was a class at 9:45. Missed that one. Around 3:30 I suited up, grabbed my iPod, and then headed out the door. On the way I double-checked the schedule. It was at 4:30 YESTERDAY. I went anyway. It’s the new me.

Since I didn’t have my new list – conveniently – I snubbed the machines. I wanted to go straight to the treadmill, we’re friends, but chose the elliptical instead. I decided on 10/10/10. Elliptical, treadmill, bike. Sounded reasonable.

About 1:30 in on the elliptical I started scrambling for excuses to abandon ship. Maybe this wasn’t good for my knees. My heart rate might be too high. Then I decided to become curious. Let’s just pay attention to how this feels, what’s going on in my body, I suggested to the ‘Flight’ part of my brain.

Four minutes in I hit my stride. I took a visual walk around my sweaty play pen. So many people looking unhappy. Working really hard and never getting there. That’s what I saw on their faces, anyway. They were doing it for someone else, to get something, not for their own energy. They were still reaping all the benefit, healthier heart, leaner muscle mass, but was that enough for them? It didn’t seem like it.

As I make my way around the vast room of clanking weights and grunting people I finally land on the stair climbers. We haven’t officially met yet. I  tend to walk a wide berth around them as if trolls can reach out and pull me onto the bottom step forcing me to walk up.

Atop the one closest to me is a man in his 30’s probably. He is leaning on the arm grip, barely able to sustain. He looks over at me, mouth open, eyes dead. He has achieved gym zombie status and apparently my brains are the only thing that can save him right now. We lock eyes as he continues to climb to nowhere. Creeped out I return my attention to reruns of Sex in the City set to the beat of the Gipsy Kings.

10 minutes done. Could have done more. 10 minutes on the treadmill. Then a relatively boring 10 minutes on the bike.

It’s raining. Hard. I can walk through the rain to my car, or stay here and do something else.

It felt good to get wet.